Here’s the problem I have, people call me misogynist because I just don’t think you should let women get away with things because they have a vag. Men will take sex over the truth any day of the week. A man will roll over in the morning and want some, and immediately forget all about the fact that she just got into bed at 6AM (HAHA). If a man’s best trick was, “If you loved me you would…” then a woman’s is, “If you don’t […], I don’t know what I will do.” I’ve been on the recipient of those, I need $150 or I’m going to get my phone turned off conversations. You know what happens if you don’t give her $150?! She calls the next chump.
Before I give too many examples of what women lie about, here’s a list of commonly lied about topics:
Men – I don’t need to rehash my opinions on how women lie about their numbers, what they count and don’t count in terms of sexual acts. Most men know that asking how many partners a woman has had is just pointless because you’ll never get a straight answer. Not only does she lie about her sex life, she lies about her male friends. “Her male friends” are those guys who tried to holler and she didn’t want to see them like that so she said, “We can still be friends.” Let’s be real, are those really friends?
Friends – Women will lie to you about their friends, so you better watch them. If you tell a girl you have a table come through and she says, “Is it cool if I bring someone with me?” Don’t get mad when eight women show up at your table. Let me be serious. Real talk, your lady will tell you stories about things her friends do, or she won’t tell you stories about things her friends do. She won’t tell you how trifling her friends are because we all know that birds of the same feather flock together. She told you they was playing Taboo all night, she didn’t tell you they were discussing their side boos over spades and tequila.
Money – Let a woman tell you, they are all broke. I touched on this in a previous post that men need to be their own financial stewards because you will be living paycheck to paycheck and your girlfriend will have a five-digit savings account. Don’t buy that, “Hair, nails, waxing, clothes, shoes…” swindle, men have all that stuff too. We have car notes, insurance, credit card bills, and fashion too. Women know that you like their company so they will say, “I’m broke, I don’t have any money.” And your nitwit behind says, “It’s okay, I got you.” No, she got you!
Appearance – Streetz has touched on this several times about women lying about their looks. Whether it is fake nails, hair, or extra padding, women lie about it. Women will tell you that she’s a 36DD, she won’t tell you that they sleep under her arms. She’ll throw those bad boys in a sports bra and keep it pushing. A woman will tell you she’s a 34DD because Victoria Secret gassed her into buying the larger cup size, when she knows she’s actually a 36C. And for the leading appearance swindles of all time… THOSE ARE NOT HER REAL EYES AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE INDIAN IN HER.
Whereabouts – It says in the bible, “Thou shalt not show up unannounced.” As a brother, if you don’t know this, it’s probably why your girl is scared of you or you’re single. However, women are notorious liars about their whereabouts. They will tell you they are going to sleep, when they are going out. They will tell you they are at Amnesia when they are at Greenhouse. They will tell you they are at work, when they are with their other man. You ever notice you don’t meet a woman, she meets you, or y’all meet up somewhere else? Women start sweating at the sight of 4square, Geo-tagging, or a house phone. They just hate for you to know where they are at. And then if they feel that they can’t dodge you, what do they do? They turn their phone off. As a member of NO MA’AM we learn in Week One of the program, “A woman’s phone does not die, unless she wants it to die.”
Funny thing about all this is that a woman’s lies are 75% of time harmless or just allow you to do what you wanted to do anyway. A lot of dudes missed that last part so let me slow it down for you noodles, 75% of the time their lies are harmless, or allow you… to do what it is that you wanted to do anyway. But that 25% is what will have you looking dumb. Do you remember D’Andre from, He Got Game? Just a friend of Lala my ass. She lied to Jesus, now you know she’s going to hell. Moral of the story, do with it as you want, next time a woman tells you something, get you a counterfeit marker and swipe it one good time.