When a Man Comes to a Woman’s House

“Damn this is a nice house…one I could actually invite my friend and family over without being embarrassed because she got real furniture.”

“OK…sixteen rows of shoe boxes…10 pairs of the same black shoes, and more purses than a bag lady. And yet she’s always complaining that she has nothing to wear?”

“Cauliflower? Beets? Brussels Sprouts? Soy Milk? Yoplait?” I would starve trying to find something to eat in this house”

“Ahh…I like that bed. Wait…I’m picturing me putting it in with you on it…then turning on the TV and watch ESPN for a minute.”

“Not another relationship magazine? Look at this one…100 Ways to Please your Man…by some lady. Seriously, there is like 3 ways..cook a meal, sex us unconscious..and dont talk so much as soon as we come home, thats it.”

“Isn’t a kitchen for cooking? What’s up with these vases of fake flowers, empty ceramic jars, and bowls filled with plastic artichokes? No guy would do that — we would use the space to make dinner.”

“Got enough candles? I bet she doesn’t even burn them..look at the dust on them! They just arranged in a bowl with a bunch of rocks.”

“Damn…she got the thermostat set on Hell? Rotisserie? I’m ready to peel out these clothes sweating like a hostage and she got throw blankets on the couch?”

“Jesus…she got 198,274 face and hair products that all seem to do the same basic job. Does it take that long to get pretty? I hope you don’t use ALL of them.”

“What is the deal with all 100 of these pictures in these artsy little frames? It’s ‘This one is of me and my friends in Daytona Beach, and this is me and my mom getting facials at a spa. And this is me and my cat, Muffin, on the couch.’ Save on the clutter and get a photo album.”

“I understand that requisite pink here and there, but come on…your bedroom looks like a bubble-gum factory exploded on it. Did know they made THAT many versions of pink pillows either.

“What’s with the two plush, pretty towels on the rack that no one is supposed to use? How am I supposed to dry my hands after I wash them…on my pants?”

“Look at all these throw pillows. They are everywhere…couch…chair…bed. I know they are meant to be decorative but they will hit the floor so I can actually have somewhere to sit”

Fellas…feel free to add on…women..feel free to share your thoughts on our place!